Is this is Something that we Call ‘Shaadi’?

I remember the last time he said “This is what they call ‘Marriage’”.

He often says that he wonders why people in Indian society consider marriage as a liability and burden where we both have united to share the happiness and sorrows. At the same time he defends the idea of wedding being a curse in life as the freedom of man gets lost in fulfilling his responsibilities.

Last time when he believed that his friends were right was when I merely asked him to stay on with me as it was Saturday and I wanted his presence after a daylong journey to oblige someone from his family only.

I am broken, I am lost, I am mutilated when I hear these words “My friends are right. This is what we call ‘Shaadi’ or rather they call. This is not what I came into his life for. My problem is that I want him to be with me. That is it.

Well, its not that he doesn’t give me attention. It is not that he does not spend time with me. It is only that in that new world (which is now 2 years old), there is no one who can give the calmness to my soul and this is the reason I yearn for his presence every now and then. May be because I cannot move out, hang around or have a pint of beer standing on the streets with my friends and smoke away the grudges of my life and all these Indian relationships I keep on worrying for.

And thereafter he returns with same stunning smile and an expression of apology on his face when I have also been thinking for 4 hours “This is what they call ‘Marriage’”.

The week starts with bafflement of satisfying my inner self till the next weekend and the same old story begins again. I want pleasure, I want him, I want something that he does not know or may be I also do not know.

The only thing I want is "To Be With Him" and believe “this is Something that we Call ‘Shaadi’”........

The Day Begins:

She opens her eyes and realized that her husband beside needs to get up too. Still struggling with her own sleep, she tries to wake him up. “Get up Darling!!!, You need to go to the office.”

Thereafter she takes bath and leaves the room to serve the best breakfast and cook the best lunch for her husband. Oh!!! Don’t forget she is working too. She is a post graduate in one of the most desired subjects.

This is “The Indian Woman”. The soul full of desires, anticipation, expectations….But all in vain.

Imagine a 25 year old woman married one year ago. She is struggling with the expectations that her in-laws have. She would not sleep more; she would not use a single thing without asking her mother-in-law and would always be conscious while even lifting her eyelid. Consciousness has become a part of her life and she does not know for how long.

There a lot more to understand a woman in India who got recently married…..the day has just begun……….

The Beginning......

Born in the month of October, I often used to catch cold and fever in the early years of my life. Whether packed in cozy quilts or left to play in the sun in the first winters of my life, all is so truly in front of his eyes. A lot of instances just ooze out of those sweet and innocent lips of my Papa when I come in front of him and even today some of my gestures resemble what he remembers when I was 6 months old, 6 years old…..

My dad is one of the two souls who would never forget the first 40 days of my life. Even today, when I am married to the love of my life and it’s been more than a year, they are not tired of narrating my acts to Mohit, my husband. These are the treasures of life in the country where relationships are given more value than money or time. Mohit listens not because he is fond of kids or is fond of stories but because he loves me and imagines me as a kid or may be because similar scenes occur when I am with his parents and he is being discussed.

Born in a middle class family with very little desires, the boon was the love and ethics which my parents have given to me, my brother and my sister. Deep down the heart I have given place to all the relationships, sweet or sour, with the perspective that each of these is teaching me something new each day. Its not me, not dad, not mom, not my love, not my siblings……but it may be you in the words to come further.